Homework #1

Apologies

"I can explain," he implored, shifting uneasily with his back pressed against their bedroom doorknob. "Everything gets so fucked up inside my head, and sometimes I can't see where this is all going and I just think sometimes...I don't know...its like sometimes this is all too much. I mean sometimes I wish this were not so fucking institutional."
Her eyes were already bloated and swaths of charcoal gray eyeshadow started to shine like pewter underneath her modest eyelashes.
"So I go out sometimes, just alone and I sit there in some fucking dive and its just dark...but that doesn't explain anything...I mean...sometimes I just want to feel like I did when I was young, before it was all just one fucking tragic love story after another...and the shitty part is that the one thing that makes me feel better is you...its thinking of you in all that fucked up solitary bullshit...and I know that's exactly what it is...bullshit...and I'm just trying to explain, or not explain, just say that its completely my fault and I never wanted to do this, but it just happened...".
It was certainly cliche, but he had said it. And the sound lingered on his lips and she looked at him and felt her makeup running and her heels pressing into their hardwood floors.
"I mean, do you think I wanted this to happen...do you think I planned on this?"
And there was nothing she could say...and she didn't have to say anything. She squinted one more time with those shimmering hazel eyes and wished she'd stayed at work for just one more hour...